Stapleton MCA Planning to Use Drones to Kill Prairie Dogs

Usually drones are the attacker, but recently these unmanned killing machines have come under fire themselves. It was recently reported that the White House has approved drones to kill US citizens abroad that were deemed terrorists. This did not sit well with human rights activists, mostly because Americans are more humane than other nationalities, and therefore, American terrorists should be afforded more rights.

Stapleton MCA President Liza Kampstra followed the story, and instead of getting caught up in the politics of it, saw an angle that may help the local community. “We have tried so many things to get rid of the prairie dogs,” said Kampstra. “We have tried poisoning them, we have opened them up for hunting, and several other not yet to be declassified measures to limit, or eliminate the vermin. Nothing has worked.”

Kampstra contacted the local military who eventually put her in contact with the right people down in Colorado Springs who are in charge of operating the drones. “When we were first contacted, we didn’t know what to think of it,” said Colonel Alesch. “But after giving it some serious thought, we realized this thing was win-win for us. We get our guys some target practice, and they get some help in the community.”

Some community members fear that the strikes could hit other things besides the hated prairie dogs. “If they are using this for training, how good are the pilots of these drones,” asks Stapleton resident Brian Kurtz. “I just want to make sure that all they are killing is the worthless prairie dogs.” Colonel Alesch has assured the community that collateral damage will be minimal. “Our guys will make sure that the area is cleared of any friendlies before making any strike. Also, the weapons we will be using in this operation are only about 10% as powerful as the ones we use overseas.”

Drone strikes on prairie dogs are expected to begin in mid-April. Residents will be notified of high-alert drone strike days as an extra precaution to stay away from prairie dog hot beds.

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