Stapleton Library Breaks Ground — on Wrong Side of Street

The new library that just broke ground in Stapleton, mistakenly broke ground on the wrong side of the street. The new library is supposed to be built on the west side of Roslyn and 29th, however they broke ground on the east side of the street instead. This mistake was attributed to the general contractor: “the blueprints were physically filed in our file cabinet using the Dewey Decimal System. Unfortunately, I haven’t used the Dewey Decimal System since 1980 and I forgot how it works. Since I was pretty sure where the library was supposed to go, I just followed my instincts. They proved wrong.”

A library spokeswoman commented on the mistake: “The Dewey Decimal System is a time-honored tradition. Unfortunately with the internet, many people have forgotten how to use this system. The mistake made here was a simple and honest one: the contractor accidentally looked for the blueprints under 912.95 — the code for Geography and Travel, with Graphic representations of earth, with geographic treatment, written as a periodical — when he should have looked under 912.926, which would have taken him straight to the correct location across the library and down the stairs to the room on the far-left, behind the door.”

The mistake will be corrected in the coming weeks. A special library consultant, fluent in Dewey, was hired on to help ensure this mistake will not happen again.

In an ironic twist, the general contractor will now have to pay a late fee due to construction no longer being on time.

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