Stapleton High School Will Probably Be Best in World

northfield HSAccording to the June Front Porch, the new Stapleton High School is already a success. In the words of Principal Tropper, Stapleton High School will produce, “graduates who will go on and be amazingly successful adults—not only in the academic sphere, but as human beings and citizens too.” This makes perfect sense to Stapleton residents. After all, it’s their kids who will go on to be so incredible. “My kids are special,” said resident Mary Buenger. “So, the new Stapleton high school will be lucky to get them. I am sure the high school will be great, but no matter where my kids go, they will be tremendous human beings. We do a great job parenting them.”

The school is poised to focus on the International Baccalaureate (IB) curriculum which most Stapleton residents know nothing about. “I really don’t know much about the program,” says resident Karl Erickson. “But the name sounds quite impressive. In fact, it even sounds better than my law degree, or esquire.” After reviewing the program, most will agree the program is quite comprehensive, covering the traditional curriculum as well as transdisciplinary themes. These themes include how the world works and sharing the planet. “Considering I am still having difficulty with these themes, it appears they are tackling quite a lot here,” said resident Kyle Lair. “But, if anyone can learn these things quickly, it will be my kids.”

According to administrators, the success of the school will depend on diversity and mixed learning classrooms. Research has shown that all students perform better in mixed learning environments (which does not make sense, so this author needs to read more on the subject). “My daughter will certainly be of great help to the other kids in the classroom who aren’t as smart as she is,” says Stapleton resident Caitlin Wallsworth. “They say that the best way to learn is to teach, so that will help her continue her growth as she teaches the academically challenged kids.”

Some residents were disturbed by what was not mentioned in the article. “There was not one mention of a commitment to athletic success,” said resident Rodney Street. “Athletics play a huge role in a child’s growth, as well as build community pride and support for a school. I want to see some commitments to building top notch athletic facilities as well as hiring great coaches. I’m not saying that education and personal growth aren’t important, but let’s not sacrifice tremendous athletic opportunities to get them.”

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