Stapleton Census: By 2014, Turtle Signs to Outnumber Caucasian Children

Recent census projections show that Stapleton Caucasian children could soon be a minority.  The study projects that by 2014, the annoying turtle signs reminding you that there are children in Stapleton, and you should slow down, will be the majority.  Forrest City is unsure how this will affect the community.  “We don’t really know how this will affect our ability to sell the area to prospective home buyers,” says Forrest City statistics expert Ron Stone.  “We know that Caucasian children have been good for business, but it could end up being that slow turtle signs are just as good.  It is just too early to tell.”

Residents are already seeing the increase.  “It’s not like I’m anti-turtle sign,” says Northsider Sarah Dahlhauser.  “I just kind of want things back to where they used to be.  Without so many turtle signs.”  SUN and the MCA are walking a fine line as unrest with residents grows.  “We are being very cautious as to how we approach this sensitive issue,” says SUN president Eric Lighthall.  “It’s not like we are going to put a limit on how many turtle signs can be on a block, or that only so many will be let into the community.  That’s just not the case.”  Residents are already working hard petitioning to do just that.  “We know SUN is volunteers, and we appreciate that,” says Dahlhauser.  “But we need action.  I don’t like the idea that when my child goes out to play in the street, there are usually two or three of these turtles out there with them.”  Motorists are also having problems.  “I feel the turtles are distracting me from looking for actual kids,” says Travis Montgomery.  “Something needs to be done.”  Love them or hate them, the turtles are here to stay.  But just how many will this community put up with?

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