Stanley’s New “No Dinosaur” Policy Frustrating to Local Residents

no dinosRecently, Stanley Marketplace implemented a new policy where pets will no longer be allowed inside the building. The policy excludes service animals, but included and was not limited to dogs, cats, and even harmless dinosaurs. “We knew this would cause some backlash,” said Stanley spokesperson Kyle Strassburg. “Many of our patrons enjoyed bringing their friends, big and little, in to our place. But, with so many different animals, so many people, so many restaurants, it just became too much. We had to make a tough decision, and ultimately our animal friends are the ones who lost out.” Resident Jim Evers is having a hard time dealing with the change. “I used to bring my pet velociraptor in here all the time,” said Evers. “Some people were nervous around Cooper, but he is so sweet. It’s not like he’s a pit bull or anything. It was just great to let him hang out while I had a couple of beers at Cheluna. I definitely think this will hurt their business.”

Ryan Barnum agrees. “My troodon and I used to go in there all the time,” said Barnum. “This new policy is bogus. I get not wanting filthy cats and dogs in there, but what is the issue with Scooter, an innocent troodon? It’s ridiculous. I mean, I’m still going to go there, because it’s Stanley, but I’m not always going to like it.” Not all Stanley patrons feel the policy is a bad one. “It just got to the point where people were bringing their dinosaurs and sometimes even their dogs, any time they went there,” said Becky Dunlay. I’m a lover of all non-avian dinosaurs, I just don’t think walking around with them at shops or just sitting around at a bar is good for them. Heck, take your dinosaurs on a long hike, or play some fetch instead of using your pets as an attention getting device.” Greg Elmer also is pleased with the policy. “The reality people need to understand is that while most kids and even adults absolutely love dinosaurs, some don’t,” said Elmer. “So, if those people want to do some shopping, drinking, and eating, they shouldn’t have to be afraid that they are going to be greeted by a coelophysis. Colorado is a great place for all animals, and that doesn’t mean you have to mix your inside fun with your outside fun.”

Strassburg says Stanley is committed to the policy. “We just have so much going on these days,” said Strassburg. “It was cute when we first opened to have people walking around with their Triassic animals, but now, we just don’t have the room and there is too much liability to worry about. Obviously from a health and cleanliness standpoint, but also the potential of people getting hurt by the animal patrons. No matter how friendly you think your leviathan is, these are still Jurassic animals in an unfamiliar environment.” So, next time you are planning to go to Stanley, plan a little run, walk, or hike with your dinosaur. They’ll be happier for it.

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