Resident’s Honda Begins “Take Back the Garage” Movement

A 2008 Honda Accord has started a movement to take back its garage and is encouraging all others similarly situated to join. According to the Honda, it has been relegated to being parked on the curb in front of the Hubka home ever since May of 2010, when Brian Hubka, likely going through a mid-life crisis, remodeled his garage into a “man room.”

After the remodel, Brian frequently had gatherings in his garage where his buddies came over and watched football games and sometimes smoked cigars. In recent years, the Hubka garage has become the local gathering place for the entire 2800 Block of Geneva Court, most notable being their 2010 Cinco de Mayo party where Brian’s wife, Jodi, rented a real Jose Cuervo margarita machine.

According to the Honda, “I used to get parked in the garage where it was nice and warm and I never got crapped on by birds. But ever since May of 2010, I have been parked out on the street in front of the house. My paint is cracking, I am always cold, and yes, I frequently have bird crap on my roof. Frankly, it’s an embarrassment.”

The Honda fondly recalls better times. “I remember when garages were for cars, and people only hung out in the garage to poison themselves with carbon monoxide or to smoke pot away from the prying eyes of their children. Now there are couches, flat screen TVs and kegerators. Ours is even carpeted now. Are you kidding me? Isn’t that what a basement is for? Why in the hell did we move out here to the suburbs, if not to have a house big enough to actually do your entertaining inside?”

91 year old Anglela Schwab, who lives next door to the Hubkas, plans to join the movement as she doesn’t like all the noise coming from their garage and claims there is nowhere for her piano students to park. According to Angela, “I have serious concerns about who exactly is watching Hubka’s 3 children when they are all in the garage drinking alcoholic beverages and doing who knows what. And don’t even get me started on what Mrs. Hubka wears out in public. Work out clothes my patootie. I would say she looks more like she is about to headline at the Tropicana.”

The Honda and Angela have pitched tents on the pocket park adjacent to the F-19 swimming pool. They have tarps, coffee and doughnuts available to anyone wishing to join the movement to get the Hubkas out of the garage and back into the house.

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