Record One-Third of Shit Gets Done While Wife Out of Town

Man in kitchen

Man in kitchen

Stapleton woman Sarah Burns left town for a three-day work trip two weeks ago. Like many successful, working Stapleton women, Sarah occasionally has to travel. “It’s not too bad,” said Burns. “Usually, it’s just one to two days, but every once in a while, I have to be gone for three to four days. I miss the kids, but with technology, I can at least see them and talk to them.” When business women leave town, they have to trust their spouses to make sure everything gets done around the house. “There is so much going on with the kids,” said Burns. “School lunches, drop off and pick up, after school activities, breakfast and dinner, homework, housecleaning, and laundry, to name some of the things.”

With women traveling more and more, men are having to put down their beers, television remotes, and video game controllers to contribute to everything that needs to get done around the house. “It’s not that men can’t do the stuff, it’s just the totality of it,” said Shane Burns, Sarah’s husband. “I don’t like the idea that men can’t do anything, or that we’re just a bunch of helpless dummies. That’s simply not true. We just don’t like to multi-task. So usually some things get done right, and other things just don’t get started.” According to a recent study published in People magazine, while the woman of the house is gone, less than one-fourth (23%) of shit gets done around the house. The study sited reasons such as lack of effort, knowledge, interest, and overall wherewithal from the man’s perspective as main reasons for the drop-off in productivity to when the woman of the house is present. “I really believe they are giving their best effort,” said Sarah Burns. “It’s not out of malice. A lot of times, a man may not even know what shit needs to get done, or why that shit needs to get done. We could one day get there, but we have a ways to go.”

What gives Sarah hope is that while she was gone on her most recent work trip, Shane was able to get a record 33% of shit done. “I couldn’t believe it,” said Sarah. “I was blown away. Usually about 20% of shit gets done, but he almost doubled his normal production when I am gone.” The 33% of shit getting done in the Burns house while Sarah was gone is believed to be a record for all men getting shit done while their wife was out of town. “For me, it’s not about the record,” said Shane. “It’s just about getting better every day.” Shane is not exactly sure what he did to do so much better at getting shit done, but is planning on trying to rehash it and start a blog to help other households. “If husbands of women who travel for business can double their productivity in regards to shit getting done, well, the world is just going to be a better place.” It most certainly will, Shane.

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