Really Happy Couple Annoying Everyone in Neighborhood

happy coupleMost people understand being married and having kids can be difficult. People living together with lots of stress are bound to have challenges. For that reason, most marriages go through a lot of tough times along with their good times. Furthermore, couples aren’t always going to have the same opinions when it comes to raising kids or making financial decisions, and that can often cause fights and disagreements. “Like everyone else, we have our troubles,” said Stapleton wife Jessica Essex. “But, we work to find a way through it, and we know there is usually light at the end of the tunnel.” What’s comforting to most couples is knowing they are not alone, and all married people go through stress and have their battles. “In a really messed up way, it’s kind of cathartic when we talk to our friends and neighbors and they talk about a fight they just had,” said Kelly Meeter. “It’s nice to know we aren’t the only ones that occasionally get fed up with one another.” Married couples are just going to be unhappy sometimes. That is, except for the Helmans, who seem to never be down. Which annoys the shit out of everyone.

“Oh my god, it’s like they are fucking Disney characters,” said Essex. “I mean, they are awesome, and nice, and fun, and all that. But, can’t they at least pretend to sometimes be perturbed with one another?” Kelly Meeter also loves the Helmans, but struggles to understand the reality of their relationship. “They might actually be soulmates,” said Meeter. “They hold hands on walks and are constantly looking lovingly into each other’s eyes. It’s really disgusting. They are tremendous human beings making the rest of us feel like crap about our marriages.” The Helmans love and constant mutual respect for one another has clearly drawn the ire of the community. “They are so great, I mean so great,” said neighbor Karla Wubbena. “But for the love of all that is sacred, can they just fight every now and again. Hell, humor us and say you fight, even if you don’t.” Some couples are choosing not to spend time with them anymore. “Every time we hang out with them, I get the third degree about why I don’t make my wife as happy as Jake (Hellman) makes his,” said Craig Litton. “I don’t need that sort of added pressure. We have enough crap to deal with, I don’t want to be trying to live up to their magical relationship.” Most of their neighbors have too hard of a time comprehending their relationship, so they often invent rumors. “I assume they are swingers,” said Wubbena. “Or maybe serial killers. Probably that.” Any way you put it, neighbors are fed up with this wonderful couple.

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