Rainbows Latest Stapleton Nuisance

rainbows in StapletonWith a record number of rainbow sightings since this spring, Stapleton residents are starting to complain about the frequency of rainbows. As a neighborhood situated with sweeping views, rainbows are hard to miss or avoid even if you try.

“I just moved to Stapleton over the summer and was so excited to see a rainbow every few days,” said Jenny Sampson. “Our whole family would run outside to stare. But now, we see them so much it’s almost cliché. I mean, I was looking for a neighborhood that was nearly perfect without being ‘too perfect,’ which is a tricky image to pull off when having to deal with things we can’t control, like constant rainbows.”

Conservatory Green resident Lisa Rochford said, “My kids used to think rainbows were magical and would ask to go searching for the pot of gold. But with so many of the rainbows coming in the late afternoon, I can’t just drop dinner every time a rainbow shows.” She goes on to explain, “Often the rainbows are full, 180-degree arcs with a clear endpoint somewhere nearby. Telling the kids that rainbows don’t really have pots of gold gets me into murky water, and they start asking questions about the tooth fairy and Santa. I can’t dodge this issue forever and wish the rainbows would just stop.”

Another Stapleton resident claimed that his Facebook friends are starting to tease him about his rainbow photos, and one even claimed he was lying about their frequency. “I used to post every rainbow photo, but it makes people in the Midwest feel badly about themselves and where they live. I’m sorry they have to live there, but that’s really not my fault,” said Dan Seery.

Other parents worry that if Stapleton children expect a rainbow every time it rains, it’s going to set them up for unrealistic expectations in other areas, that they’re going to expect ice cream for dessert every night or that it’s always going to snow on Christmas day. The best solution they found was to simply plant more trees in hopes of obscuring the rainbows. If it keeps raining, this will help the trees grow faster to more quickly hide the rainbows. If it doesn’t rain as much, the trees will be smaller but the rainbows won’t be as much of a nuisance anyway.

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