Popular Stapleton Teen Guarantees MCA “Teen Night” Won’t be Lit

teen nightEthan Palmer isn’t just any eighth grader at Bill Roberts Junior High, he’s the most popular eighth grader at the school. When Ethan talks, other kids listen. “He’s pretty much the fleekest kid in school,” said fellow eighth grader Jackson Asbee. “The guys pretty much do whatever he tells them to do just be a part of his fam, and all the girls want to be his bae. He’s had like, four girlfriends this year and all of them were completely hot. No matter what he does, it’s totally live.” Fellow classmate Abbey Steiner agrees. “Pretty much RT exactly what Jackson said. He’s cool AF,” said Steiner. “He can be salty at times, but for the most part, he’s adorbs.”

With the growing teen population in Stapleton, the Stapleton MCA must offer events for this emerging group of kids. One of the first of its kind in Stapleton is the upcoming Teen Night at Runway 35. The event will be held June 18th at the Runway 35 pool in Stapleton from 7PM to 10. The teen blast will have a DJ, a diving board, glow lights, water games, and a sundae bar. Everything a Stapleton parent would be totally fine with. But how will the Stapleton teens take to this first big effort to include them in planned Stapleton events? The Stapletonion was unable to arrange time to text with Ethan as he couldn’t interrupt his already busy texting schedule. He did let us know that “glow lights aren’t all that,” and the hashtag they used “wasn’t fleek. They’re using #teenglow2k16. 2k? That’s so 2000’s.” Ethan said he is still considering going to the party just because his attendance could end up making the party “pretty sik, but I may be headed to some other kick back.” But in the end, Ethan says it’s highly unlikely anyone will be “totally obsessed” with going to the party and the glow lights definitely don’t make it “savage.” In fact, he is predicting it will be “trash.” He stopped short of saying the party would be totally lame, mostly because “no one says lame anymore, Bruh. Get woke, yo. You’re too basic.”

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