Next Door Alert: No One Gives a Sh#t About Your God Damn Cat

cat articleThe popular social media site Next Door is often used by Northeast Denver residents. The site allows people to buy and sell items, post events, and even has a lost and found. The most common use is alerting others to suspicious behavior or crime in the neighborhood to help others become aware of important information. If something is time sensitive, people can mark their posts “urgent.” If there is an accident, a serious crime situation, a missing dog, and sometimes even a missing child, people often mark these posts “urgent” so that the messages get delivered directly to people’s email boxes. The aforementioned situations absolutely qualify as urgent, and area residents should give these matters the appropriate amount of attention.

There are some situations where Next Door members are too liberal with the term “urgent” posting an item as urgent when the situation did not dictate it. The most common involves a missing feline. “I hate getting urgent emails from Next Door only to find out someone’s old cat is missing,” said Next Door user Skylar Walsworth. “It’s extremely annoying. I’m expecting to see big news on a crime in progress, but it’s just that someone let their senile house cat slip out. Sorry, can’t help you.” Stapleton resident and Next Door user Kate Hanson feels the same way. “It’s a cat,” exclaimed Hanson. “And no, a missing cat and a missing dog are not the same thing. First off, they’re from totally different suborders. Secondly, you can easily tell dogs apart. And finally, people like dogs.” Next Door user Eric Miller has a possible solution to the “urgent” missing cat issue. “Why not add it as a user group,” suggests miller. “You could choose if you want to hear about missing cats, or any animals really. If you care about cats, you will get all of the “urgent” missing cat notices. If you don’t care for them, you won’t be burdened with the emails.” However, the rule of thumb for users should be they understand no one gives a sh#t about god damn cats.

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One response to “Next Door Alert: No One Gives a Sh#t About Your God Damn Cat”

  1. Jackie

    Garfield would definitely not like this article and he would probably say “I resemble these remarks.”

    This entire publication is the best stress buster ever and I look forward to very publication. Keep on keeping on!!!


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