New “Stapleton High Holy Day” Spurs Debate

Frozen is Movie on the GreenThe announcement that Frozen will be the Stapleton MCA’s final “Movie on the Green” this summer has sent shockwaves through the neighborhood, triggering a heated debate over whether August 29 should be deemed one of Stapleton’s “High Holy Days” for 2014.
Stapleton’s annual triumvirate of High Holy Days, as universally recognized by neighborhood elders, are the Day the Pools Open, the Saturday of the Community-Wide Garage Sale, and of course the holiest Stapleton day of all, Halloween.

Lesser neighborhood Holy Days include Easter Egg Hunt Day, Fourth of July Parade Day, Swim Lesson Registration Day, the Sunday of the Community-Wide Garage Sale, the Day the Pools Close, the First Day of School (a.k.a. Stay-At-Home Parent Party Day), Winter Welcome Night, and Stapleton Beer Fest.

Typically, the most popular “Movie on the Green” in a given summer would, at best, join the list of lesser Holy Days. But many Stapleton scholars argue that Frozen is a unique case.

“As every Stapleton parent with a girl between the ages of 2 and 12 knows, Frozen isn’t just a popular movie,” noted local dad David Clark. “It isn’t even merely a sociological phenomenon. It’s a force of nature.”

“Do you want to build a snowman?” added Clark’s daughter, 7-year-old Taylor.

A recent survey found that Stapleton families saw Frozen in the theater an average of 1.7 times, have watched the DVD 23.6 times, have watched the YouTube video of “Let It Go” 83.8 times, and have listened to the soundtrack 394.7 times (skipping “Frozen Heart” 72.5% of the time).

In addition, the average Stapleton parent reports having “Let It Go” stuck in his or her head through 96.5% of their waking hours since last December.

Thus, MCA’s inclusion of Frozen on the “Movie on the Green” calendar triggered a chorus of delighted squeals from Stapleton girls, despairing groans from their parents, and rampant speculation about the event’s ramifications for neighborhood life.

“I’m going to have to take the 29th off from work to reserve our spot on the Green,” said resident Michelle Stevens. “I figure, if I’m there before Starbucks opens in the morning, I might be able to get a decent spot.”

Steven’s neighbor, Kathy, is taking even more extreme measures. “Our nanny is going to take the kids to the green on Thursday morning, the 28th,” he said. “They’ll stake out our spot, and then we’ll all take shifts for the next 36 hours protecting it.”

Several neighborhood Bunco groups were reportedly rescheduling their August get-togethers to the 22nd or 15th, and numerous babysitting co-ops are taking the date off the August calendar as an available date-night option.

Such impacts are being cited by scholars as evidence that August 29th, 2014 should qualify as a High Holy Day. Others, however, believe such a designation would be overkill.

“We can’t handle this much change to the routine,” said resident Jen Lair. “First they move the Garage Sale to May, and now they want to add a Frozen Day to the High Holy Days calendar? Next you’ll be telling me Eastbridge is actually getting a town center.”

However the day is designated, one thing is certain: parents will now need to buy their daughters’ Elsa Halloween costumes two months earlier than planned. However, analysts say the Baby Anna dolls, which are typically the only “Frozen”-related item in stock at Target and Walmart, are likely to remain in low demand.

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One response to “New “Stapleton High Holy Day” Spurs Debate”

  1. Dennis Scott

    Given the theme of the movie, I am perplexed that the MCA didn’t schedule the showing of Frozen for the December 5th “Winter Movie on The Green”. At least then there would be an excellent chance that the weather would also be so frozen that the showing of the movie would be cancelled.

    P.S. There ya go Brendan. Now you can stop checking every five minutes to see if someone commented on your post. 😉

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