MLK Bridge Becoming Shady Underworld

MLK bridge shady underworldAnyone who has went for a walk, run, or ride on Westerly Creek with any frequency and passed under the MLK bridge, has seen some unusual sites. Sightings include teens and pre-teens hanging out, an inordinate amount of garbage, beer cans, and even condoms under the MLK bridge. In fact, this editor once saw a giant (albeit dead) snake atop the bridge on a run once. But, in the last few months, things have become even crazier.

There was of course the semi-naked man “eagerly” watching the passersby’s, which is always disturbing considering the number of women and children passing under the bridge. After that, occurrences have become even stranger. “I saw an old man dressed as Abraham Lincoln sitting in a brass tub,” said resident Kate Farrell. “He didn’t say anything, nor did he cause any trouble. But, it was still pretty unnerving.” Eric Vogel claims he saw something even stranger. “When I was running through, I literally watched a well-organized cock fight,” says Vogel. “I’m not that into it, but I was pretty impressed with how it was being run.” Not to be outdone, Micha Westemeier said things really got crazy when he was riding by. “The other day I was riding underneath and I saw a troll. Seriously, an f’ing troll. I mean, I didn’t even know those were real.”

The SUN Board has been working with DPD to work on what can be done to eliminate all the absurd activity. “We are certainly aware of the problem,” says SUN President Mike Victoria. “It is a tough situation. People will call, but by the time the police get there, the troublemakers are gone. So, we are looking into other solutions.” One of the things they are looking into is installing surveillance cameras beneath the bridge. “The cameras kind of dissuade people from doing shady things,” says Victoria. “They don’t make any arrests, but a sign that says, ‘this area under surveillance’ can certainly deter criminal activity.” Other ideas included hiring the Hells Angels to patrol the area, or better yet, Stapleton Crossfit Women. “The truth is, some butts need to be kicked,” says Victoria. “So, right now we are looking into who will be the ones to kick those butts.”

The Stapletonion would like to hear your ideas on how to clean up the MLK bridge netherworld. We will post ideas on our Facebook page, or in the next issue of the Stapletonion. The Stapleton community thanks you in advance for your help.

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One response to “MLK Bridge Becoming Shady Underworld”

  1. Shane

    What if the MCA hired us our own Troll, or just asked someone from Forest City to sit under there? Or the lifeguards could work there in the offseason.

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