MCA Issues Vehicle Brand Restrictions Beginning in 2014

In a rare majority decision, the Stapleton MCA has crafted a new policy placing strict restrictions on the types of cars that can be purchased and driven in Stapleton. Citing the strong impact that the Bill Roberts uniform policy has had on middle school students, and the increasing “need to know” who lives in the neighborhood and who’s an outsider, the MCA has passed new bylaws that go into effect January 1, 2014. All new cars purchased by home owners need to be newer model Audi’s or BMW’s with those over 55 allowed to purchase Mercedes or Lexus models. Special grandfathering provisions allow those who have lived in Stapleton for more than 3 years and having school age children, to purchase newer model minivans from Honda or Toyota.

For Sandra Elmers it’s a welcome idea. “I just moved here from Iowa to be near my grandkids, and I’m just so used to waiving at everyone as I drive my car. A friendly wave back is really appreciated. I got so frustrated waving at cars as I drove down Central Park, without any reciprocation, only to find out they were headed south of Montview. When I learned the unwritten rule to only waive at owners of German or Japanese newer model cars there was a significant uptick in the number of people that waved back.” During the interview, Sandra’s voice trailed off as she looked east towards the plains. “You know Stapleton has become a real melting pot, young and old, natives and non-natives. I don’t go to the pool much given my recent hip surgery, so having a way to identify who lives in the neighborhood by the strict limits on the types of cars people drive only makes sense.”

The new restrictions aim to not only ensure a visual class distinction between Stapleton and surrounding neighborhoods, but to also bring the sub-neighborhoods within Stapleton together. It’s a well-known fact that people from Eastbridge often have difficulty striking up a conversation with those from the Stapleton Classic neighborhood. These new bylaws will foster open dialogue, at least between the men. Steve Dillingham, an Eastbridge resident seems to agree; “I’ve been looking for a couple ringers from my kickball team, and then I saw this family pull up at Founder’s Green driving the same BMW 5 series, it was fate. I hadn’t seen the family before, but had the courage to approach them because I just knew they had to be from Stapleton, and because people who drive Beemers are athletic.”

The topic of limiting the color choices was fiercely debated. MCA board member Meredith Elijah who architected the failed attempt at adding an 8 color paint chart for all new cars to the MCA charter spoke adamantly about the benefits of uniformity. “Just look at the success of Highland’s Ranch at ensuring every home resells for the same amount. Most of that success was achieved by ensuring all families have the same house and house color and, anecdotally, by having an HOA that pressures them to drive minivans that are the same color as their house.” In an attempt to focus the debate on the uniqueness of Stapleton, she also stressed that “the reason you can tell who goes to Bill Roberts middle school is because of the uniform color.” At the end of the 16 minute debate MCA president Peter something-or-other, (the writer didn’t catch his last name), threw down the gavel and declared that part of the success of Stapleton has been masking the fact that we only have 30 home choices skewed by 65 color choices that span the rainbow and put Highland’s Ranch to shame.

The lack of “made in the USA” cars in the arsenal was also debated, albeit for 3 minutes. The overwhelming reasons cited for not including bigger American cars in the new bylaw was the increased traffic at local gas pumps and the need to repaint larger parking space lines at prime real estate establishments in the Stapleton area.

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