Letter from the Editor: When it Comes to Holiday Parties, the “Irish Goodbye” Should be the Only Goodbye

Emergency exit light signSome call it the “Irish goodbye” others call it “ghosting,” and some call it the “French exit.” But no matter what you call it, for some reason, the terminology carries a negative connotation. These terms all refer to leaving a party without saying goodbye to people, or essentially sneaking out of a party or gathering. Personally, I feel this is the only way to go. This is especially true when attending Stapleton Holiday or New Year’s parties. Here’s why:

  1. If it’s officially a party (not just a gathering of close friends), there will definitely be people there you either don’t know or don’t like. You may have already had to talk to these people, which is unfortunate. To avoid speaking with them again when you want to go, just leave. You hated the first conversation with them, why be “cordial” and have another bullshit conversation? What were you going to say to them, anyway? “Great to see you for the first time since last year’s party.” “Sorry to hear your drive to work can take a while.” Cut your losses at the first conversation, and disappear.
  2. Trust me. You’re not that important. Really, no one cares if you leave. No one cares why you have to go (babysitter, work project, going to the game tomorrow, etc.). Nobody cares. So, don’t make a big spectacle of your departure. If it’s important to get your, “look everybody, it’s me,” moment, do it at your arrival. Walk in like the life of the party. But don’t demand the attention of others just to let them know you no longer will be enjoying their company.
  3. The final reason is very personal to me. We’ve all been at a party, finally finding that comfortable corner of friends talking about things we like to talk about, when suddenly the “goodbyer” invades. “Hey, fellas/ladies, I’m heading out, great to see you, hope to see you soon…” Well, they just broke up your good time corner. We all forgot what we were talking about, or the rude goodbye made others feel like they could walk over and jump into our circle of fun. Now, some of our crew is splitting up, getting another drink, or whatever. The fun circle is over, probably for the night. Now, it’s time for me to ghost. The goodbyer just squashed the only hour of fun I was potentially going to have. Like jinxing a no-hitter. Don’t be the guy that ruins a no-hitter. Just leave, and let the rest of us carry on with our good time, you selfish, arrogant prick.

So, when attending any large gathering in the hood, you shouldn’t feel obligated to say goodbye. You should feel obligated to not say goodbye. May the ghost be with you.

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