Letter from the Editor: Help Put an End to High-Powered Squirt Guns at Stapleton Pools

This may be bad timing considering we just celebrated our great nation’s independence, and I am writing an article that goes directly in the face of the constitution’s 2nd amendment.  However, as an editor of a major publication, it is my responsibility to do what I think is right and mobilize the masses.

We all love our pools here in Stapleton.  They are convenient, they tire out the kids, they are great places to gawk, and they allow us to bring in alcohol.  Some people find the kids overwhelming.  I don’t.  I think it is great seeing the kids jumping all over the place and having a great time.  I often find myself involved in horseplay myself with kids while cooling off in the pool.

Throwing kids around, letting them use you as a mode of transportation, or even having them pretend you are Godzilla is a lot of fun.  However, there are always one or two kids that decide to bring squirt guns to the pool, and choose these as their weapon of choice.    Now, 40 years ago when I was a kid, squirt guns had no power.  This was a non issue, as no damage could be done with these BB squirt guns.  Now kids are carrying around M60 squirt guns, firing 50 ft, at 200 mph, and with deadly accuracy.  And, of course, the kids only want to shoot you in the face, and even inflict collateral damage on innocent young children or pool-goers that came to lay out, drink, and relax.

We need to put a stop to this.  This is a grass-roots effort, and The Stapletonion needs your help.  To support the most powerful piece of anti-gun legislation since the Brady Bill (sadly, this statement is true), send an email to info@stapletoncommunity.com with the subject “no more high caliber water pistols at our pools.”  The Stapletonion believes in change you can believe in.

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