Hot Mom Clique Locks Up Free Agent to Three Year Deal

hot mom cliqueStapleton people are competitive with everything. Their homes, cars, vacations, parties, and of course, their kids. But, no area is more dog eat dog than the competitive world of hot mom cliques. The Stapleton hot mom league boasts 18 different cliques, each trying to out-hot the others. Teams vie for the title of hottest clique by continuously adding and discarding “players (hot moms).” Often trades are even made. Once on a team, organizations share secrets to players on how to stay hot, whether it be skin care, diets, fitness strategies, what to wear, and of course, elective procedures. The fight to get free agent hot moms, those who aren’t currently on one of the hot mom teams, can be brutal, and the stakes are high. “We are always scouting new potential teammates,” said hot mom clique leader Amanda Baird. “We put our best foot forward and let them know what we can offer so that we get the unofficial title of hottest mom clique.” Other groups go as far as to pay off real estate agents. “If a hot mom moves into the neighborhood, we want to be the first to know about it,” said clique leader and CrossFit guru Maria Propp. “So, yeah, we have a large group of real estate agents we pay off so we can be the first to introduce ourselves. First impressions are important.”

Hot mom Amy Carnewal recently ended her contract with her former clique, becoming a free agent. “It was just time,” said Carnewal. “There were things that went on that I didn’t love, but that happens in every organization. Could I see myself there again, sure. But, I wanted to see what free agency had to offer.” Carnewel was highly sought after by many cliques, but eventually landed with Baird’s group. “She is a great fit for us,” said Baird. “A natural blonde, keeps in great shape. The image we want people to think of when they think of our organization. We are very excited for this relationship and what it will do for us.” For Carnewal’s part, she did not come away empty handed. Full details have yet to be disclosed, but sources say it’s a three year deal with lots of opportunities for “in” parties, restaurant openings, sports tickets, concerts, free use of mountain homes, and other perks. “This was just the right deal for me and my family,” said Carnewal. “I’m a great fit to the organization, and they said all the right things to make me feel like this was the best faux-friendship situation for me. I’m really excited for things to come.” Carnewal and her new team plan to show their force at the F-15 pool this Friday afternoon before heading to the rooftop of Los Chingones for an early happy hour. This could be their season.

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One response to “Hot Mom Clique Locks Up Free Agent to Three Year Deal”

  1. Lisa Young

    I live in Stapleton and would be interested in submitting articles to the Stapletonion periodically. Please let me know if this is a possibility.


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