Forest City to Build Nation’s Most Dickish Sounding Apartment Complex

Move over Ritz Carlton, Park Avenue, Drake Hotel and 157 57th St. There is a new name in high end apartments. Forest City will soon begin construction on the Aster Conservatory Green located near the scenic Shops of Northfield. “We wanted a name that said ‘elegance,’ said Forest City Spokesperson Janelle Ayers. “We also needed a name that reminded everyone in Denver that Stapleton people are much better than everyone else. We think Aster Conservatory Green does that.”

The Aster Conservatory Green is scheduled to be completed sometime late in 2015 and will include several amenities. The complex will offer custom cabinets, high ceilings, built in wine storage, hardwood floors, a community pool and clubhouse, and of course, an overall air of entitlement. “I have seen the designs, and it is definitely Stapletonesque,” said resident Aaron Potter. “I would absolutely consider living there once my wife and I get divorced.”

Forest City says that they already have a lot of interest, and believe the places will be reserved a full year in advance of opening. “This is going to be a special place,” said Spokesperson Janelle Ayers. “Northfield is such a special place. The Aster Conservatory Green will be located on the upper west side of Northfield, and people are going to be close to so many wonderful shops and restaurants. Also, we made sure to put a price tag on these places that only Stapleton-type people can afford.” Those interested in getting more information on the Aster Conservatory green can go to www.aster.com.

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