Forest City, Blackwater Strike Security Deal

blackwaterOn the heels of a recent armed robbery, Forest City and Blackwater Security have inked a deal to make Stapleton much safer. “Immediately below making money for our stockholders, is the safety of our residents here in Stapleton,” says Forest City President Phil Dargossi. “As residents know, things are getting out of hand. We need to stop this train before it gets going. People need to know that Stapleton is committed to being the best urban neighborhood, and that means making it the safest.”

Blackwater won the bid on an undisclosed cost to Forest City. “This group has been around for a long time, and knows how to do things right,” said Dargossi. Except for that one little incident, of course.” Blackwater (Academi) CEO Craig Nixon promises that his organization will be able to clean things up and make Stapleton safe. “We specialize in rough, urban terrains like this,” said Nixon. “Part of what we do is peacekeeping, but we do it through fear. We want any potential criminals to get the idea that hey, ‘you burgle here, you’re going to die here.’ We have the utmost confidence that things will be handled to residents’ satisfaction. What could go wrong with a Nixon in charge?”

Nixon says that his organization plans to do several things, but would only disclose some of them. “Obviously, a lot of it is surveillance,” says Nixon. “But, we will have boots on the ground. However, the bad guys just won’t know who they are.” Nixon went on to say that his people will be posing as contractors, parcel carriers, and even school bus drivers. “We want potential criminals to be suspicious of everything, to the point where the paranoia simply removes Stapleton as the easy target it has been.”

Resident Mike Leonhart is excited about the extra help. “It’s nice to see Forest City stepping up,” says Leonhart. “It seems like the local police aren’t doing enough for us. They keep saying they have a whole other part of the city to patrol, but I’m not buying that. Bring on Blackwater.” Sarah Rudee agrees. “It will be nice to be able to send my kids to the park without having to worry about them being robbed,” says Rudee. “It’s about the kids, and if Blackwater can make a safer environment for my kids, than I am all for it.”

Not all residents are enthused about the extra security. “I guess I always just think that fewer guns are safer,” says Ken Ray. “How trigger happy are these guys? I am certainly not comfortable with collateral damage. Way too many kids here to have a bunch of assassin’s walking around. This is another crazy idea from Forest City.” Susan Hoffman agrees. “I don’t want a bunch of crazy guys walking around with guns,” says Hoffman. “That is what we are trying to get rid of.” Nixon has assured Forest City that they have very strict rules on when they are allowed to initiate a firefight. “Our guys are trained in hand to hand combat as well,” says Nixon. “From the research and numbers we have run, we don’t see more than two circumstances a week where our people will be firing their weapons.” Stapleton residents will soon be sleeping much easier with Blackwater on our side.

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