Flash Mob Interrupts Otherwise Successful Farmer’s Market

Sunday, June 19th, the Stapleton Farmer’s Market opened up on the green. The market gives residents a chance to shop for organic vegetables, pet treats, salsa, and even top meat cuts (The Stapletonion highly recommends Blue Horseshoe steaks & burgers — www.bhcattle.com.  It is also fun to simply walk around, let the kids play, enjoy the weather and talk with friends.

Opening day was going great with tremendous vendors, great weather, and overall good times. At approximately 10:45AM, all that changed, with the simple snap of fingers.  “I remember seeing two people walking towards each other, snapping,” said resident Kristen Battenfield.  “It was pretty stupid looking.”  Things got worse for the farmers market when suddenly “Dancin’ in the Streets” by David Bowie and Mick Jagger began playing loudly.  “Immediately, the green was filled with all these people,” said Battenfield.  “The dance, as expected, was rudimentary. People left during the ‘performance’ and I am sure the local businesses weren’t happy.”

Many businesses were disappointed with the timing of the event.  “I don’t know why the flash mobsters decided to ruin opening weekend,” said salsa salesman Nick Dinnebier. “Most of the business owners have already talked with the police, and the police said they will arrest any future flash mobsters at the market.”  Although no one was directly hurt by the flash mobsters, there is no way to evaluate the psychological impact.  “I wish flash mobsters would at least think about the kids,” says Battenfield.  “There were at least a dozen kids crying, trying to cover their eyes and ears.”  Market-goers are asked to immediately report any suspicious behavior and keep a close eye on those that do not appear to look like Stapleton residents.

 

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