Fit Stapleton Residents Dreading End of Summer

With Fall quickly approaching and the pools preparing to close, moans of sadness are being heard all across Stapleton. No, not just the general sadness of cooler weather, but the deep sadness only an in-shape person feels when they realize they will no longer be able to show off their body at the pool or go on runs shirtless or in a skimpy sports bra. “I workout hard all year for these four months,” says Dana Parker, who has a smoking hot body from her workouts at Crossfit Stapleton. “What’s the point in having this body if no one gets to see it? It (summer) just goes by way too fast.”

Most in-shape Stapleton residents feel the same way. “I run with my shirt off as soon as it hits 75 degrees,” says Steve Elijah. “A lot of times, I run in the morning, and this summer, it has hit 75 early. Now, I’m having to wait until noon, and pretty soon, it won’t hit 75 at all. Then it’s back to wearing shirts again.”

Although most of the frustration stems from not being able to show off their own bodies, some of the frustration is simply having to look just like other people. “Once late fall and the winter hits, everyone looks the same,” says Jim Trainor. “Long sleeve shirts, pants, bulky sweaters, etc., these don’t let people know that I workout.”

Stapleton has an inordinate number of fit residents, to the point where some residents or people from other communities are intimidated to come to the Stapleton pools. “I brought a friend of my mine from Wash Park along with her kids,” says resident Amy Kleese. “Instead of being able to relax and enjoy herself, she kept feeling self-conscience because of all the hot bodies around her. At times, she thought we were in Vegas. She said she is not coming back until she gets in much better shape.”

Residents are finding solace in a rash of new purchases across Stapleton: hot tubs. The number of hot tubs purchased in the last three months in Stapleton is significantly higher than it is in any other community. “Our hot tub will at least give me the ability to have people over for dinner, and then go in and out of the hot tub later that night so they can appreciate my body,” says Parker. “Not as good as the pool, but it is the best option at this point.”

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One response to “Fit Stapleton Residents Dreading End of Summer”

  1. Boob

    For those that are fitness (or body) challenged there are plastic surgeons. The pools and hot tubs across Stapleton challenged residents have displayed their new breast implants and other plastic surgery wizardry. The added bonus with plastic surgery is that you are also announcing that you are in the upper class. It says that you have soooo much extra money that you can afford to add bags of water to your chest just because you want to.

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