Complaints Force Stapleton All Sports to Change Name to Stapleton Some Sports

Local business Stapleton All Sports recently decided to change its name to Stapleton Some Sports in response to multiple inquiries from parents seeking athletic programs not offered by the company.

“When we moved to Stapleton from England we were delighted that our kids could continue playing cricket through the All Sports program,” explained Woodward Blume, a frustrated local parent. “But alas, cricket was not offered.”

Mathieu Lemeux shared his frustration, saying “There aren’t many kids programs for curling, so when we saw the ads for All Sports we were keen on getting our kids signed up, assuming ‘all sports’ means just what is says. Imagine our surprise when they told us they don’t offer curling. What’s up with that, eh?”

Indeed, a Stapletonion staffer posing undercover as a zealous parent made multiple inquires to the business requesting such sports programs as speed skating, table tennis, weightlifting, rhythm gymnastics, and many synchronized sports. Contrary to its name, All Sports offers no programs for these and countless other popular sports.

An All Sports — now Some Sports — employee who wishes to remain anonymous told the Stapletonion that they are excited about the change.  “It was frustrating having to deal with this week in and week out. We were constantly coming up with excuses like, ‘we are actually doing that next year,’ or ‘we are still looking for a coach for that.’”  For more on Stapleton Some Sports and its limited sports programming, go to


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