Central Park Bridge Expected to Connect Stapleton to Real World

As construction winds down on the Central Park Blvd. Bridge, residents are cautiously excited about the possibility of discovering a world outside of Stapleton.  Long since whispered about when someone newly arrives to the neighborhood this “real world” remains a mystery. “Look, life is great here” noted resident Greg Asbee, “but sometimes I wonder. What is beyond the northern creek? Why does the air smell like cow poop every January?  And where does the Mexican lady who cleans my house come from? “

The bridge, slated for completion in spring of 2012, will hopefully answer some of those questions. Jeanne Manigold plans to embrace the opportunity. “As much as I enjoy what we have here, I’ve heard stories of something called ‘Indian food’ and intend to find out what it is.”

Speculation has run wild as to the origins of the bridge. Noted Stapleton theologian Karl White has his own theories. “When the Great Pena banished the metal birds from this area 15 years ago, he vowed that the people who remained would one day see a TGI Friday’s, whatever that is. I see this bridge as a fulfillment of that promise”

Others, like Kevin Day, aren’t so convinced. “I’m not sure this bridge is such a great idea. I mean, did any of you ever watch ‘Lost’? There could be an evil smoke monster out there or worse, we could fall of the face of the earth once we cross the bridge.” then he added “No, thank you!” Neighborhood groups are already organizing festivities to coincide with the bridge opening /unleashing a nightmare on earth

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5 responses to “Central Park Bridge Expected to Connect Stapleton to Real World”

  1. Karolina

    I nearly peed in my pants. That is hilarious, Bob.

  2. P

    I’ve heard rumors there are gas stations out there that are unaffiliated with grocery isles, but i dont know if i believe it.

  3. Garth

    Do you bother to proof read?

  4. Bill McConnell

    I think he means “proofread.”

  5. markal

    was this before or after the airport was torn down?

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