Issue 51

The Stapletonion 2nd Annual Bracket Challenge Presented by Smart Space!

The Stapletonion 2nd Annual Bracket Challenge Presented by Smart Space!

The 2nd Annual Stapletonion’s Bracket Challenge is in full swing with Debbie and Jeffrey in a dead heat to claim the top prize, with several others in contention to grab a prize from one of our great sponsors. To check out the current standings, simply click here. Please email The Stapletonion at stapletonion@gmail.com if you […]

Masters of the Stapleton Easter Egg Scramble: An Inside Look

Masters of the Stapleton Easter Egg Scramble: An Inside Look

The annual Stapleton Easter Egg scramble is chaos and Darwinism in practice. The organizers’ efforts to try and limit kids to 10 eggs each are noble, but pointless. Every Stapleton parent knows that their child’s ability to get as many eggs as possible, and, most importantly, as many golden eggs as possible, directly correlates to […]

Stapleton’s Crossfit Women Join Together to Create Stapleton Security Force

Stapleton’s Crossfit Women Join Together to Create Stapleton Security Force

It has long been understood that the women in Stapleton are simply more attractive than the men. Along these same lines, women in Stapleton are in considerably better shape than their male counterparts. There are several possible reasons for this. “My wife stays at home with the kids,” says Jay Llewellyn. “Now, I am not […]

Forest City to Hold Conclave to Decide Next Stapleton Grocer

Forest City to Hold Conclave to Decide Next Stapleton Grocer

Forest City Spokesperson Janelle Ayers has confirmed that Forest City executives along with a group of outside consultants are meeting to decide the grocer that will come in and anchor the Havana Town center. Secret meetings will be held beginning in early April at the control tower, where the executive team and the consultants will […]

Speak Easy Coming to Stapleton

Speak Easy Coming to Stapleton

The Stapleton community has been a buzz lately with the news that a Stapleton bar will be coming to the community and offering all sorts of Colorado micro-brews. Residents certainly enjoy the current options, but definitely are not against having another one. “Another bar never hurt anybody, right,” commented North Central Park resident Kelly Seery. […]

Five Sterling, CO Families Able to Get Kids into Swigert

Five Sterling, CO Families Able to Get Kids into Swigert

Many families have expressed their disappointed in not getting their child into a Stapleton elementary within blocks of their home, instead ending up at the school farthest from their homes. “It is really frustrating,” said Brian Harper. “We can look out our window and see Swigert, but our kid got into Stapleton 4. It’s like […]

Bus Route to Provide Opportunity for Outsiders

Bus Route to Provide Opportunity for Outsiders

Stapletonians, well-known for housing some of the largest big screen TVs in Denver, have long frustrated enterprising Auroriaites who lack transportation to reach the prime Stapleton real estate.  Fortunately for the enterprising but vehicleless, RTD has come to the rescue.  Buses now travel down one of Stapleton’s quietest lesser-known streets – 29th Avenue – providing […]