Issue 49

Stapleton Head Lice Outbreak Kills 14 Kids’ Chances of Becoming Popular

Stapleton Head Lice Outbreak Kills 14 Kids’ Chances of Becoming Popular

The Stapleton schools have recently suffered a massive head lice infestation which has drastically changed the course of the lives of 14 local students. The Westerly Creek nurse’s office unintentionally leaked the names of over a dozen of the students infected with the friend-killing disease, forever ruining the chances of those students becoming popular at […]

Stapleton Signs offer Fair Warnings to Residents, Non-Residents

Stapleton Signs offer Fair Warnings to Residents, Non-Residents

Stapleton has long been a community that is big on posting signs. From the pocket park rules, to the turtle signs reminding you to slow down, to the city finally acknowledging MLK Jr. Dr. appropriately. Recently, a new rash of signs have been spotted that are sparking some controversy.

Stapleton Parents Arranging Marriages of Young Children

Stapleton Parents Arranging Marriages of Young Children

Residents in the upper middle class community of Stapleton have really started taking advantage of the close quarters and highly social community. In Stapleton, it is pretty easy to get to know your neighbors, your neighbors’ friends, your neighbors’ kids, and your neighbors kids’ friends. For these reasons, one can easily figure out the kind […]

Bill Roberts Elementary Plans Destination Auction

Bill Roberts Elementary Plans Destination Auction

With every new school year comes increasing pressure for Stapleton school auction committees to raise more money and plan more exciting and profitable auctions than previous years. Last year Bill Roberts held their auction on St. Patrick’s Day at a downtown hotel where many parents chose to party it up and spend the night. Tracy […]

Two Years After Divorce, Stapleton Woman Still Shocked She Married Man who Loaded Dishwasher So Poorly

Two Years After Divorce, Stapleton Woman Still Shocked She Married Man who Loaded Dishwasher So Poorly

It’s been two years since the divorce for Stapleton resident Kara Gregory, but the scars remain from a marriage that seemed to deteriorate so quickly. “The worst thing is, the signs were there from the beginning,” says Gregory. “I mean, I must have told him a million times, the big plates go in the front […]

Bladium Finally Changes Name to “Footium” After Ditching Inline Hockey Eight Months Ago

Bladium Finally Changes Name to “Footium” After Ditching Inline Hockey Eight Months Ago

Bladium in Stapleton had long been known for having an indoor inline hockey arena, but just less than a year ago, all of that changed. “We decided to just focus on indoor soccer,” said Footium manager Tim Kesterson. “It has been much more profitable, and we don’t have to deal with all that equipment and […]

Study:  Rec Center Only Five Years Away from Being Just Like 24 our Fitness

Study: Rec Center Only Five Years Away from Being Just Like 24 our Fitness

In a recent study done in partnership with Forrest City and the City of Denver, it has been predicted that the Central Park Recreation Center will eventually become very similar to a 24 Hour Fitness. “When we say that, we don’t mean in the sense that it will be open 24 hours,” said lead analyst […]