Issue 29

Resident’s Honda Begins “Take Back the Garage” Movement

Resident’s Honda Begins “Take Back the Garage” Movement

A 2008 Honda Accord has started a movement to take back its garage and is encouraging all others similarly situated to join. According to the Honda, it has been relegated to being parked on the curb in front of the Hubka home ever since May of 2010, when Brian Hubka, likely going through a mid-life […]

Messy Haired, Mismatched Toddler Dead Giveaway Father Home Alone

Messy Haired, Mismatched Toddler Dead Giveaway Father Home Alone

Mark Lane enjoys being a dad and does his best with his daughter Maggie. He is rarely without help, however, as his wife Laurie is usually by their side. Recently Laurie decided to go on a rare girls’ trip, leaving Mark alone. Mark was happy Laurie was going to get away and knew he could […]

Drunk Bunco Group Confident They Can Solve Stapleton’s Problems

Drunk Bunco Group Confident They Can Solve Stapleton’s Problems

All over Stapleton, women are getting together once a month or so to drink some wine, spread some gossip and play some hard core Bunco. The Stapletonion decided it wanted to learn more about what goes on at these gatherings, so we sent our lowest paid employee (our female reporter) to check it out. What […]

The Stapletonion “Not so Mother of the Year” Contest

The Stapletonion knows that Stapleton is full of perfect mothers. We don’t care about it, and we don’t want to hear about it. What we do want to hear about is all of the things mothers have screwed up. Forget to pick up a child? Leave them in the backseat unbuckled? Feed them Oreos for […]