Issue 23

Forrest City Plans Purchase of Another Former “Landing Strip”

Forrest City Plans Purchase of Another Former “Landing Strip”

GOP contender Newt Gingrich has big plans for his future potential presidency. He would like to colonize the moon by 2020. This plan may seem unrealistic to some, mostly because we last landed there in 1972 and currently don’t have a space program. However, there are those that believe it is possible, and want to […]

Gang Violence Escalates Among Rival Stapleton Children

Gang Violence Escalates Among Rival Stapleton Children

In what should otherwise be an age of innocence and fun, some Stapleton children are being pressured to join rival neighborhood gangs or face the social consequences of playing alone, or worse, with only their toddler-aged siblings.  Details of the lifestyles of members of two rival Stapleton gangs have been divulged in this shocking exclusive […]

Gay-Orientated Neighborhood to be Marketed in Stapleton

Gay-Orientated Neighborhood to be Marketed in Stapleton

With home building scheduled to start this year on the last large undeveloped area in south Stapleton, Forest City is considering creating a neighborhood marketed specifically to gay and lesbian buyers. The Filing 16 neighborhood would be called “Gaypleton” drawing on a longstanding nickname used by homosexuals who reside in Stapleton, said Charlie DeAngelo of […]

Resident Makes Complete Stop at Stop Sign

Resident Makes Complete Stop at Stop Sign

On January 27th, Stapleton experienced a first: someone made a complete stop at a neighborhood stop sign. At approximately 11:32AM, a driver was driving south on Fulton St. towards 26th. The intersection is similar to several 4-way stops in Stapleton. As the driver approached the sign, he slowed his vehicle as everyone else does. However, […]

“Rookie” Parents Easily Spotted at Stapleton Parks

We have all seen them. The first time parents that are excited about every small milestone their children take. You can see them taking several photos of their child going down the slide, videotaping their time on a swing, and following them around at every step to make sure they do not get hurt. In […]

72% of Stapleton Parents “Seriously Considered” Abandoning Family in 2011

A recent study conducted by Forrest City in cooperation with Denver University, shows that almost three-quarters of Stapleton parents considered leaving their families at least once in 2011. This is up from 62% in 2006. “There are many factors that come into play here” says Denver University researcher Dr. Steve Epley. “The poor economy is […]

Block of Identical Neighbors Realize they Have nothing in Common

After five years of living as neighbors on their block in EaWe, neighbors who are extremely homogeneous in age, income, race, and number of kids finally agreed they would never be friends because of their differences. “We have been at several block gatherings,” says Jeff Jones one of the block members. “But we always struggled […]