Issue 119

Stapleton Picks “Snow-Wall” Fight with Aurora

Stapleton Picks “Snow-Wall” Fight with Aurora

Stapleton residents have long been hoping for additional security in Stapleton, and much of what they want is simply keeping Aurora residents out. “I’m not saying I want a gated community,” says resident Aaron Lane. “I just want a community where only people who live here can enter and exit. I don’t like all of […]

‘Window Security Bar’ Door to Door Salesmen Invade Stapleton

‘Window Security Bar’ Door to Door Salesmen Invade Stapleton

As a community, Stapleton has an unusually large number of door to door salesman and petitioners. From solar panels to roofing and from political parties to social agendas, there is a fairly constant stream of people knocking on Stapleton doors. The most recent wave of salesman appears to be cashing in on Stapletonians fears from […]

Stapleton Mom Running “Totally On Time”

Stapleton Mom Running “Totally On Time”

In the rarest of circumstances, Stapleton mom Shannon Skaggs, who normally is running a bit behind, is running completely on schedule. “I really can’t believe this,” said Skaggs. “I don’t ever recall not feeling rushed or harried. I’m pretty comfortable right now.” Skaggs said she had several small tasks to accomplish around the house, as […]

Couple Irritated About Having to Leave Stapleton for Dinner Party

Couple Irritated About Having to Leave Stapleton for Dinner Party

The Reisetter family has lived in Stapleton for almost a decade now. They are raising two young kids and have grown to love the community, and have made several good friends in the neighborhood. “There’s just so much to like about living here,” said Sean Reisetter. “There are plenty of things to do, and with […]

Cracks of Stapleton Family’s Couch Probably “Grossest Thing Ever”

Cracks of Stapleton Family’s Couch Probably “Grossest Thing Ever”

A vast majority of Stapleton residents have young kids, and with kids, comes messes. Nothing can stop them. We all start off with rules regarding where they can color, paint, play with play dough, and other crafts, but over time, the kids wear us down and win out. It’s the same thing with food. First, […]

Siri Tells Stapleton Child Santa Claus Isn’t Real

Siri Tells Stapleton Child Santa Claus Isn’t Real

In an unfortunate incident sure to emotionally scar seven year old Stapleton girl Alexis Miller, Miller found out through her mom’s iPhone that Santa is not real. “I always let her play with my phone to keep her busy when we are out eating, or if I’m driving, or busy at home,” said Alexis’ mom […]

Emergency exit light sign

Letter from the Editor: When it Comes to Holiday Parties, the “Irish Goodbye” Should be the Only Goodbye

Some call it the “Irish goodbye” others call it “ghosting,” and some call it the “French exit.” But no matter what you call it, for some reason, the terminology carries a negative connotation. These terms all refer to leaving a party without saying goodbye to people, or essentially sneaking out of a party or gathering. […]