Breaking News: Stapleton Husband Finds Absolutely No Food in Home

Late afternoon Wednesday, Stapleton resident and local research scientist at the Anschutz Medical Campus, Ernesto Salcedo, came home to find absolutely no food in the refrigerator. A desultory examination of the pantry uncovered little of promise. Current whereabouts of Ernesto’s wife Kindra are unknown. She was last reported to be “working all day” at the Denver Health clinic where she is employed as a pediatrician. There is no word on when Dr. Salcedo last ate. Inquiries into why Ernesto is unable to drive himself grocery store on his own have gone unanswered.

The Stapletonion will keep you updated on these events as they develop.

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