May 2017

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Stapletonians Consider Paying $15/month to Become Whiter, More Snobbish

Stapletonians Consider Paying $15/month to Become Whiter, More Snobbish

A recent Front Porch article discusses the possibility of Stapletonians hiring a private security patrol to help monitor crime around the area. “I am so sick of not being able to leave my garage open and house unlocked without worrying someone could non-violently take something,” said Central Park West resident Shane Klunder. “Something has to […]

Stapleton Couple Tries to Rid Selves of Unruly Toddler

Stapleton Couple Tries to Rid Selves of Unruly Toddler

Brian Meehan and his wife Mindy are a successful Stapleton couple. He, a dentist, and she, a lawyer aspiring to be a homemaker, have a cute two year old pure bred toddler they “just can’t take care of anymore,” says Brian, the father. “All of our friends had toddlers, so we thought we should get […]

Eastbound MLK Crosswalk Placed at Exactly Most Dangerous Spot

Eastbound MLK Crosswalk Placed at Exactly Most Dangerous Spot

The crosswalk positioned to help get residents across busy (soon to be busier) MLK to the new Eastbridge Town Center has been positioned at the exact spot considered to be the most dangerous. “It could be off by inches or maybe a foot, but that placement is precisely the most dangerous spot for pedestrians to […]

Speed Sign on Central Park Boulevard Needs to Calm the F*ck Down

Speed Sign on Central Park Boulevard Needs to Calm the F*ck Down

If you are reading this, the odds are you have driven north on Central Park Boulevard heading towards Northfield.  Of the handful of things that can be a little annoying on this stretch, by far the most irritating is the speed sign. “I really hate that damn thing,” says Stapleton resident Jacob Essex. “I mean, […]

Eastbridge Sign Helps Drivers to Beware of Dangerous “Street” Tottering Trend

Eastbridge Sign Helps Drivers to Beware of Dangerous “Street” Tottering Trend

A new and dangerous trend among Stapleton youth is being called “street tottering.” Kids are creating makeshift teeter totters and putting them in the middle of streets, disrupting traffic. “It’s really dangerous,” said resident Kevin Tracy. “I have seen this all over Stapleton, not just in Eastbridge. It’s pretty crazy, and I wish parents would […]

“Shortcut to Stanley” Opening Soon

“Shortcut to Stanley” Opening Soon

If you have been frustrated with the limited number of routes to drive to Stanley, you can look forward to a direct route very soon. Dayton Way will soon connect 26th Ave. to 25th Ave., making an almost direct route to the Stanley Marketplace. “It’s very exciting,” said resident Brock Beener. “It’s been tough having […]