July 2014

You are browsing the archive for July 2014.

Forest City’s Ultimatum on Town Center:  “Soopers or Low Income Adobe Units”

Forest City’s Ultimatum on Town Center: “Soopers or Low Income Adobe Units”

Forest City has grown frustrated with the backlash regarding their announcement of King Soopers becoming the anchor to the Eastbridge Town Center. “Forest City has been working tirelessly to satisfy the residents of Stapleton,” said Stapleton President Phil Dargossi. “Their pushback and their tenacity to block progress has grown tiresome. At this point, the community […]

High Tech Elementary Has Low Tech Handbook

High Tech Elementary Has Low Tech Handbook

If you have read the High Tech Elementary Handbook, you probably have a lot of free time on your hands. You also would have noticed how specific the handbook is when it comes to things such as playing on the playground and walking through the halls. “My child is enrolled there for this year,” said […]

SUN Survey Seeks Responses to Questions They Already Know Answers To

SUN Survey Seeks Responses to Questions They Already Know Answers To

In its latest survey, SUN looks to gather data regarding the opinions of Stapleton residents concerning the Eastbridge Town Center, mosquito control, high school programming, parks, and other retail development. For most of these questions, the answers are pretty obvious according to resident John Weber. “No King Soopers, kill all the mosquitoes, don’t care about […]

Stapleton MCA Introduces “Block Therapy”

Stapleton MCA Introduces “Block Therapy”

Stapleton is a tight-knit community, often with even tighter blocks. Most blocks get together regularly for drinks, dinners, alley parties, and of course, the annual block party. The kids on the block often become close friends, the wives get together for Bunco, and the men get together to play golf or poker. You may even […]

Starbucks Engineer Figures Out Way to Sit Less People

Starbucks Engineer Figures Out Way to Sit Less People

If you are like most of Stapleton residents, you were greatly affected by the 29th Street Starbucks shutdown. The Starbucks closed so that the store could re-engineer the area to be more efficient for its customers. “It has never been perfect,” said regional Starbucks manager Jonathan Ironside. “We wanted to upgrade the seating, and make […]

Study:  67% of Stapletonians on Tinder

Study: 67% of Stapletonians on Tinder

Stapleton enjoys lots of nicknames: Gaypleton, Divorcleton, and Swingerton. Stapleton legend has it that a gnome in your front yard means you’re a swinger. This analog way of communication is now obsolete as the smart phone app, Tinder, is sweeping across Stapleton.

Forest City Approval Rating Falls Below that of Congress

Forest City Approval Rating Falls Below that of Congress

Forest City has never been popular, but suddenly that lack of popularity has reached a new low. In fact, Forest City’s current approval rating of 13% is below the current approval rating of the US Congress of 15%. To put that in perspective, the current do-nothing US Congress is essentially made up of a bunch […]