July 2013

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Golf carts:  The Silent Killer

Golf carts: The Silent Killer

Recently, the Stapleton Mom’s Yahoo Group once again exposed a major Stapleton issue: golf carts. It appears that the almost tens of golf carts that drive around Stapleton have become a big nuisance for many residents. “I saw one going about 12 miles an hour in our residential area,” said concerned resident Joe Clinton. “They […]

Stapleton Garage Sale Boasts World’s Sixth Largest GDP

Stapleton Garage Sale Boasts World’s Sixth Largest GDP

The Stapleton garage sale has become bigger every year. It is becoming more organized, with more items, and consumers are flocking to it from all over the world. This year, over 7,000 Stapleton homes sold items ranging from SUV’s to match box cars. “It was another great event,” said consumer Marie Wilson. “We spent about […]

North Central Park Residents Building Security Wall

North Central Park Residents Building Security Wall

With the completion of the Fulton through street to Aurora and Havana soon to follow, North Central Park residents fear that Aurora leakage will extend passed Eastbridge to other parts of the pristine Stapleton community. “I don’t think community leaders, Forest City, or the City of Denver are really looking at the long-term ramifications of […]

Northfield to Become Outlet Mall-Topia?

Northfield to Become Outlet Mall-Topia?

The Northfield Mall continues to struggle, long after the completion of the Central Park Blvd. Exchange. Forest City, owners of the mall, are looking to potentially change the landscape of the mall forever. “We are looking at the possibility of turning the area into an outlet mall,” said Forest City Spokesperson Janelle Ayers. “The current […]

Business Spotlight: Moving Company Moves Residents from Old Stapleton Home to New Stapleton Home

Business Spotlight: Moving Company Moves Residents from Old Stapleton Home to New Stapleton Home

Stapleton is growing again with the expansion of Bluff Lake and coming soon, Conservatory Green. With all these new builds, new residents are coming into the community, but many of the people moving into the new Stapleton homes are current Stapleton residents. “A lot of our clients are current Stapleton residents,” said real estate expert […]

“Perfect” Very Popular in Perfect Stapleton

“Perfect” Very Popular in Perfect Stapleton

As some readers may have noticed, the latest fad phrase/saying is “perfect,” as in “I think I can meet you at the Berkshire at 7:15.” Response: “Perfect.” It is no surprise that in such a perfect place like Stapleton the saying “perfect” is being used so much. Also not surprising, some residents are complaining a […]

Stapleton Enviros Secretly Use Chemical Weed Killers

Stapleton Enviros Secretly Use Chemical Weed Killers

A Stapletonion investigation has unearthed a network of extreme environmentalists who bond over their silent shame. They secretly use chemical weed killer. These men reside in Stapleton and find support in just being with each other as they share their double lives.

Forest City to Build Nation’s Most Dickish Sounding Apartment Complex

Forest City to Build Nation’s Most Dickish Sounding Apartment Complex

Move over Ritz Carlton, Park Avenue, Drake Hotel and 157 57th St. There is a new name in high end apartments. Forest City will soon begin construction on the Aster Conservatory Green located near the scenic Shops of Northfield. “We wanted a name that said ‘elegance,’ said Forest City Spokesperson Janelle Ayers. “We also needed […]

Officials for New High Tech Elementary Struggle in Using Email, Smart Phones

Officials for New High Tech Elementary Struggle in Using Email, Smart Phones

Just before ground broke on Stapleton’s newest elementary school, DPS officials sent an email to community leaders alerting them of the new development. “I literally found out about this the day they started digging,” said SUN President Mike Victoria. “It would have been nice for them to make it at least appear that they cared […]