July 2011

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Denver, Forrest City Agree to Renaming of Streets

Denver, Forrest City Agree to Renaming of Streets

In what has been an ongoing feud between Stapleton Residents and Forrest City with the City of Denver, an agreement has finally been reached to begin renaming streets that have the same name but either have “court” or “street” after them. Residents have missed packages, have had friends miss parties, and have even gone to […]

MCA Shows Unedited Version of Pulp Fiction; Kids F***ing Love It

MCA Shows Unedited Version of Pulp Fiction; Kids F***ing Love It

The Stapleton MCA knocked the ball out of the park last weekend when they opted to go with the unedited version of Pulp Fiction, pleasing parents and kids alike.  “At first I thought it was going to be sh*tty,” said nine year old Abby Gates.  “But after 10 minutes, I thought it was f%ck@ng awesome!”  […]

Residents Make Contingency Plan in Case of Foreclosure

Residents Make Contingency Plan in Case of Foreclosure

Sprinkled throughout the well-planned Forrest City neighborhood of Stapleton, you will find several motor homes and RVs.  At first glance you may assume that these are the vehicles of visitors from out of town.  You may even think your neighbor is planning to retire early and drive cross-country exploring our great nation, ala Sarah Palin.  […]

Wiggles Cancel July Town Center Performance Amid Substance Abuse Rumors

Wiggles Cancel July Town Center Performance Amid Substance Abuse Rumors

In an announcement that will shake 2 and 3 year olds to their core, the popular children entertainers ‘The Wiggles’ have abruptly cancelled a planned outdoor concert performance at the Stapleton Town Center.  Originally slated for Saturday, July 23rd, at 1:00 PM, a specific reason for the cancellation was not given.  However, during a surprisingly […]

Southenders on High Alert After Spotting White Guy Walking Dog

Neighbors in Stapleton’s Southend aren’t sleeping any easier after hearing about a Caucasian man seen walking a white Labordoodle along the greenbelt last week.  The man was reportedly seen walking the allergy- friendly pooch at 6PM last Thursday near the skate park. “Something just didn’t seem right about it,” reported Southend resident and block captain, […]

Stapleton MCA to Open “Nanny Only” Pool

Stapleton MCA to Open “Nanny Only” Pool

In an effort to make Stapleton moms less self conscious and nannies less “creeped out,” the Stapleton MCA has agreed to turn one of its pools (YTD) into a “nanny-only” pool.  The pool has received extremely mixed feedback, albeit consistent within groups.  For example, Stapleton moms and nannies are very excited about the new pool.  […]

Thank Heaven!  711!

Thank Heaven! 711!

Stapleton residents have become so desperate for a Havana Town Center, they are now ecstatic about the announcement of a 711 convenient store moving in farther down the road on Havana.  “I was psyched it wasn’t a King Soopers,” said resident Ben Raiklin.  “This is so huge.  I will happily pay the extra 30% to […]