The Stapletonion

Many residents have voiced concerns over the Mercy Housing Project the Bluff Lake Apartments. The project is meant to help out those in need of a fresh start and who are working hard in their new opportunities. Many residents were concerned about the type of people the project was going to be housing. “We were told that the project was going to house some homeless people,” says resident Mitchell McAllister. “I assumed they were recruiting people from underneath the viaduct.”

This is hardly the case. In fact, residents will be pleasantly surprised to learn that the new residents will be similar to their neighbors, and in some cases, their actual neighbors. “During the real estate bubble, Stapleton builders convinced buyers that they could afford anything,” says Mercy Housing spokesperson Stacy Wilson. “They were subsequently given loans that were way too big, and eventually were foreclosed upon. Those are the types of people we are moving into the Bluff Lake Apartments.”

“We are very excited about this opportunity,” says former New Town Home owner and future Bluff Lake Apartment resident Jason Schwab. “We still get to be close to our friends and the kids won’t need to change schools.” Stapleton residents should use caution before judging Bluff Lake Apartment residents. They might just be your former neighbors.

In a somewhat controversial new initiative, the SUN Sustainability Committee voted 5 to 4 in favor of the “No Tree Left Behind” program. “We were seeing all of these trees in the different Stapleton Neighborhoods that did not appear to be getting the proper attention,” says Sustainability Chair Lauren Parker. “Just because the tree does not have owners who care, does not mean the neighborhood shouldn’t be responsible to keep them growing and strong.”

The initiative has drawn a lot of heat because each of the different Stapleton boroughs must now pass a quarterly tree inspection where a certain percentage of trees are deemed “healthy” by the Arbor Commission. If they do not pass the inspection, the neighborhood will no longer receive MCA funding for its parks, pools, and general upkeep.
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In a controversial move, the Stapleton MCA has agreed to allow Aurora Fox to perform the cult classic, A Clockwork Orange for one of the summer theatre showings. “For all of the violence in the book and subsequent Kubric film, it does have some important social commentary,” says MCA President Liza Kampstra. “It asks some important questions in regards to rehabilitating violent criminals.”

Some residents are concerned that the violence and overall content is way too strong and complex for the young viewers that attend the Theatre on the Green. “I am not arguing that A Clockwork Orange has its place in the annals of film history,” says concerned resident Lisa Stone. “It is just way too violent for the age of the children that will be attending these events. Typically, we would expect material that is much more light-hearted.”
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Do you worry about your baby looking stylish at the pool?  Are you not up with the latest and greatest baby swimwear?  The Stapletonion is here to help!  Before pool season opens, the Stapletonion will be presenting its second annual baby swimsuit edition. Again, many have requested the “Hot Moms” swimsuit edition as well as the “Hot Nannies” swimsuit edition, but we are sticking with the Baby Swimsuit Edition for this year, however we will not turn away photos sent in of hot moms or nannies. Please submit photos of your baby (between 6-30 months), their first name, and who they are wearing.  Submit to stapletonion@gmail.com with the subject line “baby.”  The edition will be in one of the June issues of the Stapletonion, so please get your photos in so our editors can do any necessary touch ups on unsightly baby fat. If we use the submission of your baby, you will receive a free Stapletonion tee shirt!