Stanley Scam: Marketplace a Ruse to Get Forest City to Move Forward with Town Center

stanley hoaxIn a shocking revelation yesterday, the developers involved in the Stanley Marketplace project admitted the entire project was nothing more than a way to push Forest City into doing something with the Eastbridge Town Center. “We knew that if there was momentum for other shops and restaurants, they would have to move quickly,” said lead “developer” Mike York. “If the Stanley Project got completed, and was full of quality shops and restaurants as we claimed, it would have been really hard to get interest in the Eastbridge center. So, Forest City saw the threat, acted fast, and well, now there is going to be a decent town center.” The idea was brainstormed by York and a few other guys while hanging out at The Berkshire late one night. “We were all complaining about not having the town center,” said York. “Then, we started throwing out ideas of what could be done. That’s when we came up with the Stanley Project idea.”

The plan may have seemed simple at first, but took months of planning, and needed several key people to agree to be involved. “Of course, we needed the City of Aurora to be involved,” said York. “If they don’t agree to the scam, its over before it begins. But, they loved the chance of pulling one over on Stapleton after all the guff they get from us. So, after that we began approaching businesses to see who would be interested.” Even when businesses agreed to be involved in the scam, it wasn’t over. “We had to count on complete silence from all those involved,” said York. “If just one person breaks their silence, the scam is over. It’s incredible that not one person didn’t break, after all this time.” The other surprise for York was that no one asked any questions, despite almost no work being done on the exterior of the building. “We of course had construction trucks come park there,” said York. “But never was there any work being done. I mean, there has been literally no landscaping and we say we will be open in 2016. I guess everyone wanted it to happen so badly, they ignored many basic project fundamentals.”

In the end, York and his team have no regrets with how the plan went down. “We accomplished what we set out to do,” said York. “Yeah, there may be a few broken hearts, but they will feel better now that they are getting a decent town center. It’s a great story, and maybe one of the great scams in Denver history.”

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“Not a Swap” Finally Gets Own Facebook Page

not a swapThe popular Facebook group Stapleton Swap has over 2,200 members and is a great way for Stapleton residents to conduct simple commerce, mainly in buying and selling used items. This was the original intent of the site, and it still seems to serve that purpose well. More recently, the challenge has been in getting the site to stay focused on its original mission. “More and more, people are posting, ‘#notaswap but’ and then asking a question or simply mentioning some random thing,” says Swap user Kathy Geary. “I don’t like it. Many of us use it a lot for buying and selling, and these random posts just bog it down with crazy questions. I mean, that’s why we have a Next Door group, a Big Tent Group, your own Facebook page, Bizz Buzz, etc. Why do you need to jump into a commerce site and not conduct commerce? What if someone went on to Ebay and could post, ‘not selling anything, but?’ It wouldn’t go over very well.”
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Breaking News: 26th Ave. Park Eventually will Become a Park

26th Ave. ParkFollowing the shocking and disappointing news that the Stanley Project was nothing more than a hoax, 26th Ave. residents finally got some good news. There is an actual plan in motion for the 26th Ave Park. The plan includes native grasses, trails, several pocket parks, and wait for it: little league baseball fields. “This is really exciting for the Stapleton community,” said Stapleton resident Scott Litton. “Finally, that area will have some sort of feel to it aside from prairie dogs.”
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“Back to School Boot Camp” Prepares Parents for Upcoming School Year

boot campWhen most people think of summer camp, they think of camps for kids. But as we get closer to the beginning of the school year, parents need to prepare for the big changes of having their kids go back to school. “A lot of families have summer nannies, and or they pack the summer months with vacations, week long day camps, or play dates with other families,” says Back to School Boot Camp instructor Tim Helman. “Furthermore, many kids do not have summer sports leagues, so you are not driving kids around everywhere. And of course, with the long days, kids go to bed late. So, the transition of getting kids and parents to the back to school routine is often worse than the transition to summer.”

Helman says parents sign up for the three hour a day, one week camp where they are faced with the challenging tasks they deal with while their kids are in school. “We have kids breaking down for no reason, while another one is doing just fine,” says Helman. “Then, we will have a call to tell them they need to go get their kid who just threw up at school, while they were in the middle of an important meeting. We have them driving from place to place as we instruct them changes in a sports venue, or a sudden cancellation. It is just a replication of the daily stress parents go through when dealing with their kids being in school.” The program also prepares parents for things such as behavior at PTA meetings, bullying, and other child drama.

The program will take place at Westerly Creek Elementary, and parents are encouraged to come alone or with a spouse. “Sometimes it’s great if they are both there,” says Helman. “Even if one of them handles it more, it is always good for the other one to know what is going on and how hard it can be.” Classes will be daily from 9-12, and are one week courses from 8/3 to 8/14, for $250/week. Those interested can register by clicking here.

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Study: Incompetent Nannies Make People They Work for Better Parents

Mom Smokes Cigarette in Same Room as Child

Mom Smokes Cigarette in Same Room as Child

In a recent study by the University of Buffalo, it found that when people have useless nannies, they actually become better parents. “It essentially makes a lot of sense,” said study director and professor of sociology at the University, Dr. Jason McGovern. “It’s human nature that when someone is doing really well at something, we tend to let them go, and completely trust them,” said McGovern. “Now, when they are doing poorly, we end up micromanaging them, or give them tasks that have a lower competency. Especially when it comes to the most important thing; our children. So, when a nanny is incompetent, parents will end up spending more time with their kids, as they don’t completely trust the nanny they hired.”
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Lion Loose in Stapleton

lion-sceneStapleton social media blew up after a resident took a short video of what appeared to be a lion loose in the Stapleton neighborhood. The video shows what appears to be a lion, possibly a mountain lion or a small female lion, roaming through a Stapleton yard. “I grabbed my phone and started shooting the video as soon as I could,” said Classic Stapleton resident Shannon Taylor. “Then, of course, I posted what I saw on Stapleton Swap, Stapleton Moms Big Tent group, Next Door Stapleton, Classic Stapleton Facebook group, Stapleton Block Captain Facebook Page, and then my own Facebook and Twitter pages. After that, I called authorities immediately.”
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Even Stapleton Kids Sick of Pools

kids sick of Stapleton poolsStapleton at home parents and nannies often stick to the lowest common denominator when it comes to entertaining the kids: the pools. Every day, caretakers bide their time until the pools open so they can let the kids swim, splash, wrestle, and chase in the pool until they come home tired. “I love taking the kids to the pool,” says Stapleton mom Kara Weber. “I feel like they are getting social time, exercise, and I really don’t have to be a part of any of it aside from the packing.” Summer nannies undoubtedly agree. “Hey, I just come watch these kids for three months,” says hot summer nanny Katie Dunagan. “I don’t know what these kids do the rest of the year, and frankly, I don’t care. If they like the pool, we’re going to the pool. Easiest summer job. Ever.”
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